


Safe- Protective Loki and Tina's Story

by starrynightfantasies



Series: In Clone Love and War [6]
Category: Loki laufeyson - Fandom
Genre: Cutting, Daggers, F/M, Flashbacks, Knives, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Therapy, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-09 03:06:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15258051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrynightfantasies/pseuds/starrynightfantasies





	1. Chapter 1

_"You might want to take the stairs to the left."_  

_Those words replayed themselves in Loki's mind so many times, he heard them in his dreams. Was it his fault that his mother had been killed? Or was it Odin's fault for not keeping her surrounded with guards? None of that mattered now that she was gone. None of that mattered now that Loki was well and truly alone in his cell, knowing that no one would ever visit him again._

_He banged his head against the wall. The back of his head hit with such force that some of the stone chipped away, falling to the floor around him. He'd expected as much. He would never be fortunate enough to actually knock himself unconscious. Sliding down the wall, he sat and gingerly patted the now sore place at the back of his skull. Blood. In his hair. He idly wondered if it was the same blood that ran on the floor when Frigga was killed. She'd been awfully upset when he'd said she wasn't his mother._

_Blood in his hair. Blood in his dreams. He couldn't stop the blood. It seemed to be everywhere._

_Why had he told that beast where to go?_

 

Protective Loki flung yet another dagger at the wall, stabbing it into the makeshift bullseye he'd painted the previous day. He didn't know why he felt better when he practiced. Norns knew he didn't really  _need_ to. He'd hit the mark over two thousand times that day alone, but he still felt frightened, empty- panicked. He was still afraid he would fail if put to the test. 

 

"What are you  _doing_?" April whispered in an alarmed tone.

He hadn't realized she was sneaking up behind him, but now he felt terrible because she would worry. She always worried. She worried he wasn't getting enough sleep, even though he didn't  _need_ sleep. She worried when he didn't eat enough, even though he didn't really need to eat. Now she would worry about this. 

The blade was barely touching his arm; just enough to allow for a tiny drop of dark red blood to grace the tip. 

"I-- It was an accident." 

He had to face it, his inherited  _silver tongue_ wasn't going to get him out of this one. Her face showed him that he wasn't fooling her. It was etched with worry, grief, sorrow, and fear. 

"Don't lie to me, Loki. You  _never_ lie to me. You're far too good with those daggers to have an 'accident.'"

She was talking to him like she would talk to  _her_ Loki, and he suddenly felt like a small child taking a scolding from his mother. But instead of continuing to scold him, she wrapped her arms around him and gently took the blade from his hands. They both watched as the tiny cut healed, and April kissed his cheek. 

"I'm so sorry I haven't been able to help you, but I think I may know someone who can."

 

Protective Loki spent the next day with a hand-drawn map in one hand and a stress ball in the other. He had no idea what that idiotic ball was supposed to do for him, but April had insisted he take it with him. Then she'd taken all but one of his knives away from him. She'd allowed him to keep one  _just in case_. When he finally arrived at his destination- the university April had attended ten years prior- he was completely lost. His map showed that the office he was looking for was on the second floor, but he wasn't even sure he had the map turned the right way. He was turning it around and around in his hands, grumbling under his breath when a woman walked out of a room down the hall from where he was standing. 

"Are you looking for something?" 

Loki took a few seconds to gaze at her. She was stunning. She was dressed in a sharp black suit with a knee-length skirt and heels, and her hair was put up neatly at the back of her neck. He couldn't help imagining how it would tumble onto her shoulders if he pulled at the clip that held it into place. 

"I was looking for an office...but I think I may have already missed my appointment." 

 _Lies. All lies._  

He hadn't missed his appointment at all. April had made sure the therapist could see him whenever he arrived. Loki wasn't even sure what a therapist  _was_ , so he was far more concerned with trying to talk to this woman instead. 

"What time is it, darling?" Loki asked her, hoping he could keep her there for a few moments longer.

She glanced at her watch and smiled. 

"It's noon. Time for lunch,  _finally_." 

He nodded his head. "Yes, I'm afraid I have arrived far too late... Are you going for lunch now? Am I keeping you?"

The woman shook her head and smiled again. 

"You aren't  _keeping_ me, but yes I'm going for lunch." 

She looked down at the map in his hands. "Are you from out-of-town? Do you need help getting somewhere?" 

Loki grinned. "Actually, I could use a bit of help. I don't know my way around the city, so my friend made this for me. I'm afraid it hasn't been much help," he chuckled. 

"What's your name, darling? You are so lovely." 

She looked surprised, but Loki couldn't imagine why. She  _was_ lovely- sweet and charming, and stunningly beautiful. 

"I'm Tina," she said, holding out her hand. "What's your name?" 

Loki gently took her hand and pulled it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles. She giggled and smiled, and he was delighted. It had been a very long time since he'd been  _delighted_ by anything. 

"My name is Loki. Would you care to get some lunch with me?" 

 

Tina took Loki to the university cafeteria since she had very little time before her next class. Loki learned that she was a Spanish professor. He also learned that he found foreign language professors extremely sexy. Or maybe he just found  _her_ extremely sexy. 

"So who were you meeting here? I mean, you don't have to tell me..." 

Loki didn't want to tell her that he was meeting a therapist. April had told him he wouldn't tell anyone at the house, but he didn't know why. So he used the same lie she had told the others. 

"I was supposed to meet a man about some ancient knives." 

Tina's eyes lit up. "You like knives? I  _love_ knives!" 

She suddenly felt embarrassed by her enthusiasm, so she tried to downplay it, but Loki sneakily pulled his dagger out of his pocket. 

"What do you think of this one?" He asked, grinning.

It was his very favorite dagger. The hilt was solid gold with a tiny snake etched into the end. The blade was small, but very sharp. Loki loved the sheath most of all because it was made of metal and had a tiny chain that connected to the hilt. 

Tina almost couldn't believe her eyes. "Where did you get that? It's beautiful," she breathed. 

"Oh, it's been in my family for...years," Loki whispered, slipping it back inside his waistband. 

 

Tina hated to admit it even to herself, but she really liked Loki. He was intelligent, polite, and extremely handsome. He seemed so different from anyone she'd met before, and she wondered where he'd come from. She hated that she would have to cut their conversation short so she could go back to work. She'd likely never see him again. 

"Well, I really don't  _want_ to, but I have to go back to my class now. I have to teach in a few minutes. I've really enjoyed this, Loki." 

Loki smiled, and she felt all the blood rush to her face. 

"I have too, darling. Where do you teach? That hallway where we met?"

She sighed. "Yes."

Taking his hand, she gave it a squeeze and said goodbye. When she walked away, she felt bereft, and she chastised herself. She was a smart, independent woman. Getting attached to someone she met in a hallway at work was just  _not like her_. 

 

Loki finished his lunch and thought about what he was going to do. He could either go back to the house and lie to April about seeing the therapist, then spend the rest of the night wishing he'd talked to Tina more... _or_...

 

An hour later, Tina finished her class and walked out of her classroom to find Loki standing across the hall. 

"I swear I'm not stalking you darling, but I thought  _maybe_...you'd join me for dinner too?"

Tina smiled. 

" _Yes_."

 

That was the first night that Protective Loki didn't stay up throwing daggers at the wall or thinking about how things could have been different if he hadn't told the beast where to go. Instead, he laid in bed thinking about Tina until he drifted to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you have a nice time with the professor?" April asked innocently. 

Protective Loki's heart leaped into his throat until he remembered that she was using her own code words for the therapy session. She didn't actually know about his two meetings with Tina, the Spanish professor. He smiled to himself when he thought of her. She was just so lovely. 

"I did. He was quite interesting." 

She frowned. "Was he  _helpful_?" 

Again, Loki thought of Tina and the unbelievable sleep he'd enjoyed the previous night. He hadn't slept that soundly since his creation. He didn't know he was capable of such slumber. 

"Undoubtedly. May I see he- him again today?" He knew he didn't have to ask, especially with everyone else simply leaving the house whenever they chose, but he felt a certain loyalty to April that the others didn't seem to feel. 

"Of course! If he's able to-- lead you in the right direction, then by all means." 

 _Her_ Loki sat at the other end of the table looking back and forth between the two of them as if he was thoroughly confused by their exchange. Protective Loki found his expression comical, especially since he usually knew everything that was happening before anyone else did. 

 

That afternoon, he stood outside Tina's classroom waiting for her to emerge. He was nervous because he hadn't exactly  _asked_ if she wanted to see him again, but she'd kissed him the night before, so he thought that was a good sign. Her lips had been so soft, and her touch was better than anything he could have imagined. For so long, he'd been focused on April; on keeping her safe and impressing her in whatever ways he could. He hadn't dreamed he could meet anyone for himself. Tina had stepped out into that hallway and completely changed his life. 

"Loki!" She smiled, seemingly happy to see him.

She watched as her students filed out of the room before walking over and wrapping her arms around him. There was a tiny part of him that felt edgy and panicked when April hugged him. He worried he wouldn't be able to stop an accident from occurring. But when Tina's arms were around him, he felt completely at peace. He sighed into her hair and kissed her neck without even realizing what he'd done until he felt the goosebumps rise on her arms. 

"I'm...sorry. I--" 

Tina wasn't sorry at all. His lips on her neck gave her chills, and the closeness of his body made her want to groan out loud. She pressed her index finger to his lips. 

"Don't be. I liked it. Do you want to go somewhere else?" 

Loki nodded, thrilled that she wanted him there. 

"Do you have any suggestions? I'm off now, so I'm free for the evening." 

Tina had spent the entire night thinking of Loki, and even though she'd chided herself for behaving like a teenager, she couldn't help the way she felt about him. He'd been nothing but a complete gentleman, so she had no reason to think he was anything less. Right at that moment, she desperately wanted to spend the entire evening with him, and she hoped he felt the same way. 

His eyes lit up, and he grinned at her. 

"I actually don't know where to go, but the place doesn't matter. I only really care about being around you." 

Before she could talk herself out of it, she took his hand and started walking toward the subway. 

"My place, then. How does that sound?" 

 

 

"Norns, what _is_ this place?" 

There were people  _everywhere_ , and Loki suddenly felt a familiar panic wash over him. He squeezed Tina's hand until he heard her let out a soft cry next to him. 

"I-- I'm sorry. I just..." 

He began feeling around in his pockets for the dagger he'd been allowed to carry, and he knew that  _one dagger_ would never be enough. His chest felt constricted, and his vision was blurry, and--

"Are you alright?!" 

As soon as Loki let go of her hand, Tina knew something wasn't right. He'd nearly crushed it in his grip, but then she noticed he was weaving on his feet; taking shallow breaths and blinking hard. When he looked over at her, his normally dark, myterious eyes were wide and glossy with fear. 

 _Tina_. Loki saw her face and took a deep cleansing breath. It was as if she alone held the power to give him oxygen. He looked at her and he was safe. Everything was okay. Taking her hands, he nodded. 

"I'm...I'm fine." 

_It was her. He had to protect her._

 

 

When they arrived at Tina's place, Loki was still a bit shaken, but he was far more concerned with what she would think. He couldn't stand the thought of her not wanting to talk to him anymore because he was a coward or a freak. 

"I'm sorry about what happened back there. I've never been on the ah, subway before," he muttered, looking down at his shoes.

Tina took his hands and squeezed them. 

"Loki, where are you from? You said you didn't know your way around. You had that hand-drawn map when I first met you, and you've never been on the subway. Plus...I  _may_ have Googled that beautiful dagger you carry. It's  _really old_." 

Loki knew that if he didn't tell Tina the truth, their relationship couldn't possibly progress any further. He also knew that if he _did_ tell her truth, she might not believe him. The risk was so great that he already felt crushed. He was already imagining how he would feel as he sat at the table throwing knives at the wall once more. He sighed. 

"If I tell you, you may think I'm mad, but if you trust me I can prove that I speak the truth." 

Tina couldn't imagine why she would think he was mad, especially if he was simply from another country. 

"Just tell me, Loki. I'm really not as mean as my students think I am," she laughed. 

When Loki didn't even smile, Tina became very anxious. 

He sighed again, looking down. 

"Tina, I'm a clone. I'm a clone of Loki Laufeyson. He's--"

Tina's expression told him that she already knew who he was.

"--a Norse god?" She asked in disbelief. 

"Actually, yes. He made six clones of himself. I'm one of them. That's why I don't know my way around here, and I've never been on the subway. I'll leave...if you just give me directions back home?"

Loki's face was so distraught that Tina almost cried. She didn't want him to leave, and for a moment she couldn't figure out why he would even offer. She placed her hands on his shoulders, hoping her touch would make him understand how she really felt.

"Loki, I don't think you're mad! I don't  _want_ you to leave. I want you to stay and talk with me. I... I really  _like_ you. I don't care if you're a clone." 

To emphasize her point, she stood on her tiptoes, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. His lips were tense and rigid at first, but when he realized what she was doing, he melted against her. His hands went to her hips, pulling her body against his, and he groaned. 

 _"Tina_." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
